Things that change when you lose weight

If you are like me, there are some things you couldn't do as an overweight person. There are the big things like run for a long length of time and small things like cross your legs. As you lose the weight, you also gain some things you thought you'd never do again. I was thinking about this last night when I got out of the shower and the little fat fold between my arm pit and chest was a lot smaller than before. Sometimes it's good to make a list of what has changed, to help you remember how far you've gone. This is important for all aspects of your life, not just weight loss.

• I can cross my legs now. I couldn't before. Such a small thing but when I was able to do that again, I feel so empowered. I know...weird.
• I can run/walk a 10k.
• I can play with the girls without getting out of breath.
• I can lift the girls over and over and I don't get tired.
• My whole body is getting stronger. There's a very fit and toned person under the flubber!
• I can see my arm muscles, back and front!
• I can feel my butt muscles.
• My bath towel is almost closing around me. This might be a little too much info for ya, but it's something that I use to judge my inches lost.
• My perspective about food has changed.
• I am now an exercise fanatic.
• My relationship with Christ is much stronger.

I'm reading Psalms right now. I love David. He was a very human man, who made very human mistakes but searched God with all his heart, all the time. In Psalm 10, verse 1 David says "Why, O Lord, do you stand far off? Why do you hide yourself in times of trouble?" In Psalms 13, David is basically repeating the same, "How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever?" I think I have asked this so many times. I think we all have. David asks this but his Psalms aways end praising the Lord and knowing the Lord will be faithful to him. It's so hard to see God's hand working in our lives, especially in times of great trial. I know there are multiple times I want to quit this weight loss journey (sometimes all in one day). David probably wanted to quit running. He wanted to quit hiding but he knew that God was in control and his refuge was in that knowledge. I take refuge in that as well. God is in control. Why are we doing anything unless it's for God's glory? God has been so faithful to me. I will continue to glorify the Lord in this journey, no matter how frustrated I get!

Finally, another loss

I weighed yesterday. I was praying for a loss. Is that wrong? I don't know but it was a 2 lb loss! I was completely prepared for another disappointment, either a gain or stay the same. I was so happy to see a loss. I really needed to see that. God is so faithful to me. He knows what I need when I need it. Losing these 2 lbs have been hard fought, even if it's a drop in the weight loss bucket.

Another thing I realized yesterday. I have lost almost 50 lbs since 2007. I was shocked to really understand this. That is what both my girls weigh together! Wow. I think I've come to accept that it may take me 5 years to lose all the weight. Maybe that's God's plan for me. He's changed my view of food. Oh, I still LOVE to eat. I love cakes, pies, chocolate, fried foods, etc., but God has shown me that food is NOT a reward. Food is fuel for your body. He wants you to enjoy eating but not so much that it takes over and pushes Him out. I was letting food push God out of my heart. Oh, I still loved God and loved church and loved my family. But I was allowing my recklessness toward eating and exercising to take over my life. The devil knows where I am the weakest and attacks it with all his power. I will always have this battle but God has given me the power to fight it. It's exhausting but with His help, I will overcome.

So if you are reading this and wondering how you can do the same...well, I don't have an answer for you. For me, it was that first picture on my previous post-the one from the beach in 2007. God blew it up in 3D for me! Then when I got pregnant with Rebekah, it was in 4D! Something clicked for me that has never clicked before. God became (continues to be) the focus for me and letting Him take control of my eating and exercising habits. I knew that I had to make permanent change in my life. It was then that I started looking at food differently. That is the key-to look at food as what you need and not what you desire. You may not be there yet. It may not be time for you to start. Or maybe you are there and just don't know where to start. Let me know. I want to be praying with you and for you on your own journey.

Take a look at the verses on my blog today. It's AWESOME how these daily verses are so relevant to my current blogs!

To exercise or not to exercise...that is the problem!

Ah, exercise. I love to do it, truly I do, but some days it is SO hard to pick up my arse and do it. It's getting really hard to do it during the summer while John is home! Him being home has thrown my whole routine off. I used to have a great routine: Get up, take A to school, go to gym, pick A up then home. Ah...I love routines. I do get tired of them but I always go back.

Well, today (in an attempt to stay on my workout routine) on the way to the gym, I realized that today was the last day for our 30% off Kohl's coupon. Well, 30% is so good and Rebekah needed some shorts. We also had to go to John's Dad's house for lunch so there was no way I could work out then go to Kohl's then make it back to his Dad's house for lunch. So, I decided to forgo weight lifting class for shopping with the husband and 2 daughters. Well, I quickly realized that going to my weight class would have been easier and more enjoyable! Not only did we go to Kohl's but JcPenny's too and by 11:45, the girls and I were having meltdowns. It's hard enough to cart 2 kids around and TRY to shop but try doing it with a husband that looks at everything twice and takes forever to make a decision. It was complete madness and now that I look back on it, I know God was saying to me, "see, Sarah, you should have gone to weight class".

Tomorrow is a new day. I should walk tonight but it's rumbling outside and I'm not sure I want to risk another "lesson" from God in the form of lightning.

It occured to me this past weekend that I need to post some pictures so I, and ya'll, can see the progress I am making on this journey. I'm going to attempt to add pictures with text so we'll see what happens!!

Me at my heaviest- Probably 245-250 lbs.

2 months after Rebekah's birth... Probably 215 lbs

225 lbs. July '09

June '10...200-205 lbs (haven't weighed in awhile).

I know I've lost inches and gained muscle. I'm a work in progress :) God is forever my strength and joy through this whole process.

Crazy 2 weeks...

I've had a crazy week. It all started with our Sunday School party Saturday night, then family get-together for Memorial Day on Sunday, then Tuesday leaving for FL, then Wednesday in FL then traveling back to GA, spending the night in Macon Wednesday night, more traveling on Thursday and finally home. Needless to say, my eating habits have been all over the place. I did good except for the occasional cake and banana pudding incidents. I also had some sweet tea but it wasn't that sweet so I didn't really count it as "real" sweet tea.

While at the hotel on Wednesday morning, I honestly tried to work out in the fitness center but everytime I went to work out, all the machines were taken. Yesterday I played in our little pool with the girls for 2 hrs. That counts as something I hope. So today is back to reality. I'm gonna get a hold of the food and exercise.

Walking, walking, walking

I've started walking in my neighborhood. Since John is home for the summer, it's a great opportunity to get up early and get out. The girls are still asleep (and so is John) so I strap on my lil MP3 player and get hoofing. My neighborhood has some killer hills (I live in the mountains so it's not a shocker) and to do 2 laps around all the whole 'hood is 3.4 miles. I figure every week I will add another few hundred feet and eventually be able to do 4 laps (10k). I feel better about doing something since it will be hard to get to the gym now that John is home. I've also had some people suggest I change up my work out routine to help me lose some more weight.

I walked this morning and it was SO humid. I'm not sure if I was wet from sweating or because of the wetness in the air!