Where to start? I've never done a blog before. I started this blog for John and I to use, but we seem to be posting on Facebook more than here, so I guess I will take over our blog for my own. So for all interested, this is my weight loss journal (and I hope it's a LOSS not GAIN journal). I hope to be brave enough to tell you the truth in my journey. I'm very scared to do it b/c it means BIG accountability but I need that so here goes. This is an account of my weight woes over the years.

I have been fighting this weight fight since age 13. A lot of stuff happened at this age. I moved from FL to GA. I had no interest in anything but sitting on my booty and being pouty about having to move. Thus I gained about 25 lbs. Well, I got involved in softball and that helped the lbs, but not my eating habits. I think that I didn't start really losing the weight and gaining self esteem until I started earning my own money by having a job. Then, at age 18, I met someone and fell hard for him. Then we broke up and I kind of starved myself thin. I got down to a size 8 by eating nothing but chicken. And I ran about 2 miles a day too. I really denied myself a lot of food, good and bad. It was not a healthy time for me. What's funny though is people told me I was TOO skinny!! HA.

Flash forward to my second year of UGA. I was probably at my healthiest. One great reason for this is I walked everywhere on campus. I also worked out everyday at the campus gym. I was around a size 10 and really didn't have to think too hard about my weight. Well, then my senior year hit and I had zero time to do anything except projects for school. So, here came the weight. By the time I'd graduated I was probably a size 14.

So everyone knows the next story...get a job where you sit on your bum for 9 hours a day and ZOOM...weight goes up faster than gas prices. I tried Weight Watchers for awhile and lost 20 lbs but then that came back when I didn't keep it up. I couldn't even lose weight for my wedding dress (a size 18). Even though my wedding day was the happiest day of my life, a part of myself was upset that I couldn't lose the weight.

Well, next came being pregnant w/my first baby Amelia and the gaining of 35 lbs (which isn't awful but I was already 50 lbs overweight). That was my heaviest (and I cringe to mention this) at 240 lbs. GASP! I really hated my body and this affected my relationship w/my hubby. You don't exactly feel beautiful in bed w/your hubby when you are that overweight.

Finally, after seeing pictures of me at the beach (which can blow anyone's self esteem to pieces), I committed this journey to God Almighty and began to go to First Place at church. AHHHH...clarity comes. What is the real reason for overeating, laziness and running from the truth? Well, myself really. Myself giving into what the devil offers me in place of our Savior. Finally, the pounds started dropping. Not a lot, but enough. I joined a gym w/some girlfriends at work and then I started noticing that my pants weren't as uncomfortable.

Then...boom. PREGNANT. Well, this time was different. I was committed in First Place and by the time Rebekah was born, I actually had lost about 15 lbs. Cool huh? God is so good.

So that takes me to this point. I lost my job last July (a huge blow to my self esteem) but I actually kept the weight off for awhile. However, it's coming back. ARGH. I can honestly tell you that I rarely sit on my booty anymore but somehow the weight is STILL hanging on. It is like an addiction I can't get rid of. I'm sick of it! AND I'm sick of this body I've put myself in. God gave me this body and look what I'm doing to it! I have to get better or my future looks grim. So, I took the first step today. I joined Bodyplex and I'm so scared that I will not finish the work God has started in me. Tomorrow I have an "assessment" at the gym. I will get all the bad news then and post my weight and measurements (ugh...i cringe). Hopefully I can start w/the bad and end w/the REALLY GOOD! Thanks for joining me in this journey :)