A long post but hang in there w/me :)

Besides getting together and eating burgers last Saturday night, I've eaten pretty well the last few days. I did have some cake called "Orange Creamsicle" and my...it was too yummy. The cook told me she actually made it pretty healthy by substituting apple sauce for oil and egg substitutes. It didn't taste healthy...ha. It was so yummy. Probably tasted so good b/c I've banned a lot of those kinds of sugary sweetness from my diet.

One thing that has surprised me in my diet is my egg in the morning. It has really sustained me through my workouts. The protein is long lasting enough to keep my sugar intact until I can eat my protein bar after I work out. I eat 2 pieces of bread along w/that but the carbs in the whole wheat bread don't typically last that long.

I've been eating leftover hamburgers for lunch with chips. For dinner I've been bad for 2 nights. John and Amelia are gone to VBS at night so I've been making an egg and cinnamon toast (gasp!). The cinnamon toast is on whole wheat bread w/light margarine so it's not horrible but it's not filling. I know it's wrong but I just don't like a big heavy dinner at night.

I've gotten up to running for 13 min. on the treadmill at the gym. I walk fast for about 12 min then run for 13 then walk fast for 12. I'm adding a minute each week to running. I feel like I'm losing more inches w/running then w/the elliptical.

My bible study has been awesome! The chapter I'm reading right now is about believing God will do what He says He will do. Mainly...do you believe that God can do miracles? Do you believe God can change your situation for the better? Do you believe God can heal the sick? What do YOU believe God can do? A lot of people (myself included) believe that miracles are when a person who has cancer suddenly doesn't have it. And that is a miracle and Praise the Lord when that happens. But a lot of people believe that miracles are only those big things like that. Beth Moore says miracles happen all the time but we as Christians are so jaded by life that we fail to see the miracles God does for us everyday.

I've had a personal journey for the past year. In less than a month, I will celebrate my one year anniversary of unemployment. That sounds so funny when I say it. Anyways, God has really shown me the miracle of losing my job. Now that really sounds funny, but that's what it is. I've been so messed up spiritually for a long time. I feel like I would get highs and lows but no constant walk w/Jesus. After I lost my job, I was angry at God for awhile. I was like a fish out of water, literally. I was now a stay at home mom, but not by choice. My choice had been a career that I loved and here I was, thrust into life staying home all day, everyday. This can't be what God wanted for me. I just didn't understand it at all. I would go on play dates and pretend to be happy to be at home but inside I was miserable. I asked advice. I needed to know that I wasn't the only one that felt that way.

Then one day God showed me something. He showed me the positives, whereas I had only wanted to see negatives. He showed me that this is the BEST time to be home. Would I want to be unemployed if the girls were teenagers? No...this is the right time for me to be home b/c they are so little. Is it just a coincidence that the economy is horrible? No...again, this is the best time for me to be home. I foresee (with God by my side) that in about 5 years when Rebekah is going to school, that the economy will hopefully be in an upswing and jobs will be available. I guess now I have clarity that I had to be forced to see. God has also shown me that my fellow playgroup moms feel the same frustrations as I do.

I am content now. I search God's voice more and more. God is my light and I will follow it always. I believe He will do what He says He will do. Do you?