WORKING ON IT
So...this low carb thing is H-A-R-D! I never realized how many things have carbs in them until I started keeping track of it. So far, I've only had a couple of days in the past 2 weeks that I went over my carb count. Every day other than that, I kept the count way under what livestrong.com is telling me to have. And I'm also trying to eat good carbs, like whole grains, fruits and veggies. Sounds easy right?
Um...no. It's easier to do at home because I can get a salad, fix veggies or eat fruit. The hard part is when I leave my house. For instance, John and I went to a beautiful wedding this weekend and the buffet was fried and baked chicken, cole slaw, mashed potatoes, baked beans, bread, brownies and, of course, wedding cake. I had a little cole slaw, a little mashed potatoes, some baked chicken and 1 bite of wedding cake. VERY HARD to pass up a lot more mashed potatoes and that cake...especially the cake!
It was hard when I went to eat Mexican too. I got chicken quesadilla, no rice or beans, but still got seduced by the chips!
It is getting somewhat better, although I think I will always WANT that piece of cake, cookie or whatever sugary goodness is around.
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Thursday, October 13, 2011
MORE CONFESSIONS...
I feel like this blog entry should come with the sound bite of someone slapping me in the face. That's the way I feel currently about the state of affairs in my weight loss effort. I went to the doctor today and I had deliberately NOT weighed for about 3 weeks to give myself some time to lose ANYTHING. Why did that even matter when the scale at the office said NOTHING GOOD?! And it was a gain! NOOOOO! I was screaming inside. I wanted to shout to the nurse, "no...you don't understand. I eat pretty good and I exercise. It really should be a lower number! Please don't judge me! Why can't there be scales in the rooms so we can weigh naked? I mean, I was wearing jeans and heavy flip flops and I just drank about 1/2 gallon of water...it's not accurate! Don't judge me!" I am thinking this in the 2 seconds it takes for her to walk me to the room to meet the doc. I am so frustrated but really, honestly, I am not that surprised.
I haven't been writing anything down and I know I've been eating too many carbs lately. I've been exercising like normal BUT not eating as good as I could. There's been too many "I'll just have a little" there and "a handful of m-n-ms won't hurt" there. UGH. Really...it's all my fault. I also have not been doing a good quiet time and I haven't been surrendering this battle daily to God, so I have only myself to blame. The devil knows where I am weakest and he's been hitting me hard.
Carbs, for me, are the DEVIL. The devil knows this is my weakest link and for whatever reason, if I eat too many, my body says "hey look, there's a fat cell we have to multiply!" I won't lie...carbs are my happy place. Sugary carbs in particular. I would love to sit and eat pie after pie, or donut after donut, or bread after bread. I know I can't but I want it like a meth addict wants a hit. I am addicted like that! Now, I know it's not as extreme as a meth addict, but my addiction will kill me over time if not kept in check.
Truthfully, I have been avoiding writing in my blog. I knew I needed to get here and write it out. I knew I needed to start AGAIN. Luckily, it's not a horrible gain. Thankfully it's not more than 5 lbs, but for me, that's a lot. Anyways, I knew that I needed to tell whoever reads this that I am going to start over. New beginning...new goals.
After talking with my doctor (whom admitted that she struggles w/carbs as well), she and I both decided that the 1st 2 weeks of any kind of eating change is the worst. It's withdrawal. She said that if I could keep up what I was doing past 2 weeks, then it would get better. So here goes people...I am going to give up some carbs.
Now...I can't go cold turkey...no way...BUT I am going to try my hardest to keep away from them. I'm going to the library and get some low or no carb cook books. TRY to stay away from them during snack times. TRY to eat dinner and lunch w/almost no carbs. Oh man...I'm scared.
Please pray for me...I am facing a new challenge and new discipline. I've defeated so much on this journey but I still have a long way to go.
I feel like this blog entry should come with the sound bite of someone slapping me in the face. That's the way I feel currently about the state of affairs in my weight loss effort. I went to the doctor today and I had deliberately NOT weighed for about 3 weeks to give myself some time to lose ANYTHING. Why did that even matter when the scale at the office said NOTHING GOOD?! And it was a gain! NOOOOO! I was screaming inside. I wanted to shout to the nurse, "no...you don't understand. I eat pretty good and I exercise. It really should be a lower number! Please don't judge me! Why can't there be scales in the rooms so we can weigh naked? I mean, I was wearing jeans and heavy flip flops and I just drank about 1/2 gallon of water...it's not accurate! Don't judge me!" I am thinking this in the 2 seconds it takes for her to walk me to the room to meet the doc. I am so frustrated but really, honestly, I am not that surprised.
I haven't been writing anything down and I know I've been eating too many carbs lately. I've been exercising like normal BUT not eating as good as I could. There's been too many "I'll just have a little" there and "a handful of m-n-ms won't hurt" there. UGH. Really...it's all my fault. I also have not been doing a good quiet time and I haven't been surrendering this battle daily to God, so I have only myself to blame. The devil knows where I am weakest and he's been hitting me hard.
Carbs, for me, are the DEVIL. The devil knows this is my weakest link and for whatever reason, if I eat too many, my body says "hey look, there's a fat cell we have to multiply!" I won't lie...carbs are my happy place. Sugary carbs in particular. I would love to sit and eat pie after pie, or donut after donut, or bread after bread. I know I can't but I want it like a meth addict wants a hit. I am addicted like that! Now, I know it's not as extreme as a meth addict, but my addiction will kill me over time if not kept in check.
Truthfully, I have been avoiding writing in my blog. I knew I needed to get here and write it out. I knew I needed to start AGAIN. Luckily, it's not a horrible gain. Thankfully it's not more than 5 lbs, but for me, that's a lot. Anyways, I knew that I needed to tell whoever reads this that I am going to start over. New beginning...new goals.
After talking with my doctor (whom admitted that she struggles w/carbs as well), she and I both decided that the 1st 2 weeks of any kind of eating change is the worst. It's withdrawal. She said that if I could keep up what I was doing past 2 weeks, then it would get better. So here goes people...I am going to give up some carbs.
Now...I can't go cold turkey...no way...BUT I am going to try my hardest to keep away from them. I'm going to the library and get some low or no carb cook books. TRY to stay away from them during snack times. TRY to eat dinner and lunch w/almost no carbs. Oh man...I'm scared.
Please pray for me...I am facing a new challenge and new discipline. I've defeated so much on this journey but I still have a long way to go.
Friday, July 08, 2011
CONFESSIONS
In an effort to be more transparent, I must confess that my goal of losing a meager 10 lbs by July 10 has not happened. I think I may have lost about 2 lbs but no more than that. I must also confess this is 100% my fault. I have not exercised enough nor have I been strict about my eating. So those 2 things together = me staying the same. I prayed this morning that God would forgive me for failing at this little goal but it's harder to forgive myself. When you are overweight and struggle with eating/exercise, the trap you fall into is "I'll always fail at this so what's the point?". I know that I am feeling that today. I think it's because I don't eat or drink a lot of foods that typically cause people to gain weight, like fast food, fried foods and soft drinks. I eat turkey burgers, whole wheat bread, whole wheat pasta, fruit, veggies and try to avoid sweets. This has helped me maintain my current weight but not lose. It's frustrating but that's my reality.
I leave tomorrow for the beach. I vow to watch what I'm eating and not make the mistake of saying "I'm on vacation so who cares!". I will also be doing a lot of active things, like biking and hopefully, kayaking, as well as playing on the beach with my family. (Now, I also hope to sit on my bum and read a book while basking in the sunlight too!)
Hopefully, by having a plan NOW before the trip will help me keep focused and not gain the usual 5 lbs.
So, I've not achieved my goal but it's not the end of the world. I will just keep on plugging along. The summer is a crazy time, with no routine (which is something I thrive on). I know it will be extra hard to stay focused but I know I can keep losing, even if it's just 2 lbs every six weeks.
In an effort to be more transparent, I must confess that my goal of losing a meager 10 lbs by July 10 has not happened. I think I may have lost about 2 lbs but no more than that. I must also confess this is 100% my fault. I have not exercised enough nor have I been strict about my eating. So those 2 things together = me staying the same. I prayed this morning that God would forgive me for failing at this little goal but it's harder to forgive myself. When you are overweight and struggle with eating/exercise, the trap you fall into is "I'll always fail at this so what's the point?". I know that I am feeling that today. I think it's because I don't eat or drink a lot of foods that typically cause people to gain weight, like fast food, fried foods and soft drinks. I eat turkey burgers, whole wheat bread, whole wheat pasta, fruit, veggies and try to avoid sweets. This has helped me maintain my current weight but not lose. It's frustrating but that's my reality.
I leave tomorrow for the beach. I vow to watch what I'm eating and not make the mistake of saying "I'm on vacation so who cares!". I will also be doing a lot of active things, like biking and hopefully, kayaking, as well as playing on the beach with my family. (Now, I also hope to sit on my bum and read a book while basking in the sunlight too!)
Hopefully, by having a plan NOW before the trip will help me keep focused and not gain the usual 5 lbs.
So, I've not achieved my goal but it's not the end of the world. I will just keep on plugging along. The summer is a crazy time, with no routine (which is something I thrive on). I know it will be extra hard to stay focused but I know I can keep losing, even if it's just 2 lbs every six weeks.
Friday, July 01, 2011
BLAH, BLAH, BLAH
That's the way I've been feeling lately. Blah about exercising, blah about eating and blah about myself in general. I've been doing this for so long that I don't know what else I can do differently to get results. I know I need to exercise more but I'm bored with the options. I love the gym but hate to have to go over 30 miles to get there. I love walking but my foot can't take it if I push myself hard. I love biking but need a good bike and helmet to do that ($ we don't have right now). A friend gave me a at-home step aerobics thing but I can't seem to do it. I guess right now I am in a rut and I'm hoping that if I write this all down in a blog, it will give me a push I need.
I know that God is healing me of my food addiction. Some days are better than others, but right now I feel in control. I know I can say no to things and I know when to stop eating if I'm getting full. I pray if I'm tempted too much. I try to get busy doing other stuff to get my mind off of whatever it is that's tempting me.
I'm finding that exercise is now the hard part. I love to exercise but the get up and go is the hard part. And now, it's so hot outside. My time to walk is limited to the morning and evening. These are all obstacles I must overcome, but some days, it's hard to just do it.
So now, I will make myself do it. Time to walk :)
That's the way I've been feeling lately. Blah about exercising, blah about eating and blah about myself in general. I've been doing this for so long that I don't know what else I can do differently to get results. I know I need to exercise more but I'm bored with the options. I love the gym but hate to have to go over 30 miles to get there. I love walking but my foot can't take it if I push myself hard. I love biking but need a good bike and helmet to do that ($ we don't have right now). A friend gave me a at-home step aerobics thing but I can't seem to do it. I guess right now I am in a rut and I'm hoping that if I write this all down in a blog, it will give me a push I need.
I know that God is healing me of my food addiction. Some days are better than others, but right now I feel in control. I know I can say no to things and I know when to stop eating if I'm getting full. I pray if I'm tempted too much. I try to get busy doing other stuff to get my mind off of whatever it is that's tempting me.
I'm finding that exercise is now the hard part. I love to exercise but the get up and go is the hard part. And now, it's so hot outside. My time to walk is limited to the morning and evening. These are all obstacles I must overcome, but some days, it's hard to just do it.
So now, I will make myself do it. Time to walk :)
Thursday, June 16, 2011
THE SCALE IS EVIL
Ok...I'm convinced that the scale is evil. It's never kind to me, no matter how many carbs I cut out, no matter how many sweet teas I say no to, no matter how many weights I lift, and no matter how many miles I bike or walk. Sure...I might see a pound or two less but most of the time I see the SAME number. It is the most frustrating thing in this world.
In the Bible study I was doing, Lysa Terkeurst gives you some questions to ask yourself after seeing a frustrating result of the scale (my answers for this past week are in red):
Ok...I'm convinced that the scale is evil. It's never kind to me, no matter how many carbs I cut out, no matter how many sweet teas I say no to, no matter how many weights I lift, and no matter how many miles I bike or walk. Sure...I might see a pound or two less but most of the time I see the SAME number. It is the most frustrating thing in this world.
In the Bible study I was doing, Lysa Terkeurst gives you some questions to ask yourself after seeing a frustrating result of the scale (my answers for this past week are in red):
- Did I overeat this week on any day? No
- Did I move more and exercise regularly? Yes
- Do I feel lighter than I did this time last week? Yes
- Did I eat in secret or out of anger or frustration? Yes, one day
- Did I feel that, at any time, I ran to food instead of God? No
- Before I stepped on the scale, did I think I'd had a successful, God-pleasing week? Yes
Then why, oh why, am I stalled at 199 (yes, people, this is my weight-I'm being totally transparent with ya'll)? I've been tested for thyroid problems so there's no problem there (don't I wish!). I don't have any other problems that I know of. The only answers I can come up with is that I am not eating the right things at the right times and I'm not exercising enough. Even though I think I'm doing it right, there must be a missing link somewhere. My accountability partner thinks it's not enough exercise. I think there's a God reason too. God knows my heart. He knows that He has to get me to a place where I crave HIM. He knows that I have to be shown that true obedience means that even though the hard times and the times where I'm not seeing results, I must be obedient. After all, if I keep choosing right things to eat and keep execising regularly, then it has to come off, right? If not, I know I'm being obedient, and that's what really counts.
So if you are like me and striving everyday to do right, ask yourself the above questions. I feel like they are a good measure at how your week is going. I think I actually need to ask myself these questions daily at this point.
Yesterday, as I walked up a hill, I had a song come on my Mp3 player. It's an old dance song called "C'mon ride the train". I don't think that's the correct name of the song but I think ya'll know what I mean. Well, as I was going up the hill, a line came on "I think I can, I think I can". I tried to say "I know I can, I know I can" when I was walking. Today's weigh in was just another hill I'm trying to get over and with God's help, I know I can get over it.
But I still think the scale is evil.
Saturday, June 04, 2011
RANDOM THOUGHTS
This week started BAD. Monday I weighed and the result was one pound gained from the previous week. WHAT?! How in the world? I was SOOOO depressed and in a funk all day. Do you know how frustrating it is to think you are doing it all right and never see a result from hard work? Oh, and it didn't help that my grandfather saw me over the weekend and said "Looks like you're gaining weight again." Yeah...that helps my self-confidence. Thanks Pop.
So, Monday wasn't the greatest day. I did my quiet time that morning and prayed, A LOT that day. I tried to see myself as God sees me, but honestly, it didn't work. All I could see and feel was FAILURE. Thankfully, we were invited to eat dinner with Chad and Joanna that Monday night. After revealing my depressed feelings to Joanna, she lifted me up. She made me think that, yeah, I've gained weight, but I'm still doing things right. Plus, I might be adding a lot of sodium to my diet as well as the heat of summer could help with retaining water weight. Lord knows I swell in the summer! After we left their house, I felt more at peace that I was alright.
I worked out Tuesday (45 min), Wednesday (1 hr., 45 min), and Friday (1 hr. 50 min). Thursday, I was so busy with stuff that I don't think I sat down to breathe for more than 30 min. In addition to exercising, I'm really paying attention to my sodium intake and WOW...a lot of "low fat or fat free" foods are FULL of sodium. Plus, bread is too. Man, a girl cannot get a break!!!
Today is Saturday and as I look back to my depressing start this week, I am in a much better place. I can honestly say that I've done good this week. I've eaten right and exercised. I've also had a quiet time everyday which helps me see the enemy better. Last time my Pop said something degrading to me, it made me stop my efforts and I gained more weight. This time, it made me more determined to get it off. Now I am looking at this gain and re-evaluating some food choices that I had been thinking were "good" for me.
The Bible study I'm doing is so good and there are so many nuggets in there that ring true to me. However, reading it and DOING it are two different matters. I know that if I wasn't ready to really surrender this to God and depend on Him in this, then I wouldn't be ready to lose the weight for good. I know that if I wasn't ready to look at food and exercise differently, then I wouldn't be ready to lose this weight for good. I had to arrive at those 2 places before I could start changing my perspective. If you are not there yet, then you are not ready to change. It takes a hit at your pride to realize that you can not do this on your own. You need God first, then friends who are honest with you and encourage you, and lastly, you have to be committed to this. I am so committed to this journey that when I gain weight, it's like I've betrayed myself but this week I realized that I am more determined than ever to lose it too. I believe that I'm not losing it fast because God is trying to teach my stubborn self that He is the only nutrition I need.
I think this post was kind of all over the place but it was my random thoughts that I needed to get down. Here's another random thought: When I was on the elliptical machine at my gym, I watched Regis and Kelly (BTW...Kelly has NO boobs. She looks like a fit teenage boy in a skin tight tank top). They had on a male fitness trainer. He said that a diet should be ABS - no Alcohol, no Bread and no Sugar. Yeah...this sounds like a good plan but it is not for WOMAN! Alcohol can be cut out completely (for most women), but I am convinced that we women are not made to cut bread and sugar out completely. Yes, we can cut it down to the bare minimum but I think we are just made differently than men in this way. John can cut out sugar and bread and he feels nothing for it. I, however, crave it even more! Maybe it's how the devil gets to us women. Anyway...that's my last random thought...for now.
This week started BAD. Monday I weighed and the result was one pound gained from the previous week. WHAT?! How in the world? I was SOOOO depressed and in a funk all day. Do you know how frustrating it is to think you are doing it all right and never see a result from hard work? Oh, and it didn't help that my grandfather saw me over the weekend and said "Looks like you're gaining weight again." Yeah...that helps my self-confidence. Thanks Pop.
So, Monday wasn't the greatest day. I did my quiet time that morning and prayed, A LOT that day. I tried to see myself as God sees me, but honestly, it didn't work. All I could see and feel was FAILURE. Thankfully, we were invited to eat dinner with Chad and Joanna that Monday night. After revealing my depressed feelings to Joanna, she lifted me up. She made me think that, yeah, I've gained weight, but I'm still doing things right. Plus, I might be adding a lot of sodium to my diet as well as the heat of summer could help with retaining water weight. Lord knows I swell in the summer! After we left their house, I felt more at peace that I was alright.
I worked out Tuesday (45 min), Wednesday (1 hr., 45 min), and Friday (1 hr. 50 min). Thursday, I was so busy with stuff that I don't think I sat down to breathe for more than 30 min. In addition to exercising, I'm really paying attention to my sodium intake and WOW...a lot of "low fat or fat free" foods are FULL of sodium. Plus, bread is too. Man, a girl cannot get a break!!!
Today is Saturday and as I look back to my depressing start this week, I am in a much better place. I can honestly say that I've done good this week. I've eaten right and exercised. I've also had a quiet time everyday which helps me see the enemy better. Last time my Pop said something degrading to me, it made me stop my efforts and I gained more weight. This time, it made me more determined to get it off. Now I am looking at this gain and re-evaluating some food choices that I had been thinking were "good" for me.
The Bible study I'm doing is so good and there are so many nuggets in there that ring true to me. However, reading it and DOING it are two different matters. I know that if I wasn't ready to really surrender this to God and depend on Him in this, then I wouldn't be ready to lose the weight for good. I know that if I wasn't ready to look at food and exercise differently, then I wouldn't be ready to lose this weight for good. I had to arrive at those 2 places before I could start changing my perspective. If you are not there yet, then you are not ready to change. It takes a hit at your pride to realize that you can not do this on your own. You need God first, then friends who are honest with you and encourage you, and lastly, you have to be committed to this. I am so committed to this journey that when I gain weight, it's like I've betrayed myself but this week I realized that I am more determined than ever to lose it too. I believe that I'm not losing it fast because God is trying to teach my stubborn self that He is the only nutrition I need.
I think this post was kind of all over the place but it was my random thoughts that I needed to get down. Here's another random thought: When I was on the elliptical machine at my gym, I watched Regis and Kelly (BTW...Kelly has NO boobs. She looks like a fit teenage boy in a skin tight tank top). They had on a male fitness trainer. He said that a diet should be ABS - no Alcohol, no Bread and no Sugar. Yeah...this sounds like a good plan but it is not for WOMAN! Alcohol can be cut out completely (for most women), but I am convinced that we women are not made to cut bread and sugar out completely. Yes, we can cut it down to the bare minimum but I think we are just made differently than men in this way. John can cut out sugar and bread and he feels nothing for it. I, however, crave it even more! Maybe it's how the devil gets to us women. Anyway...that's my last random thought...for now.
Friday, May 20, 2011
SOMETHING I'VE LEARNED
This weight loss journey started a long time ago for me. It wasn't when I saw myself in summer pictures and thought "No way...that's me?". It wasn't when I had to buy a size 18 wedding dress. Nope...I realized last night as I was doing my Bible study that this journey started when I was 13.
When I was 13, our family moved from ethnically diverse central FL to white bread Woodstock, GA. It was a culture shock to say the least. PLUS I was 13 and that is NOT a good time to move a child. Period. I went from having a lot of friends to nada. Let me just say that now I look back and I see God's hand in that, but to a highly dramatic and hormonal middle schooler, I didn't see God in it. Of course, I wasn't looking for Him. I could have but I didn't. Anyway, because I was 13 and didn't know how to fit in with the people around me, I turned to laying on my butt and eating. I gained weight in that first year in Woodstock and really have struggled with it since.
Reading that part of my Bible study helped me realize that it doesn't have to be something horrific in your life to drive you to eating your troubles away. It can be the small things too. Things like...your hair is curling the wrong way, my boss yelled at me for something I didn't do right or my kids are driving me LOONY. Anything you use to justify eating that treat is (listen me now) Satan's way of tricking you into dependence on food for comfort. Satan says, "You need this. This (insert treat here) will give you so much pleasure and release from your life." And like a meth addict, I keep coming back. I never, never, ever realized my need for "comfort" food until I started reading this book. I didn't consider myself a emotional eater but now I realize that I am. I may not eat a whole bag of chips after a bad day, but I can certainly drink a whole gallon of sweet tea or eat macaroni and cheese until it's coming out of my eyeballs. Satan was using the small let-downs and the bad days to get me to eat bad stuff.
Here's the quote from 'Made to Crave' by Lysa Terkeurst that opened my eyes:
"Satan wants us to sneak things in secret. Things hidden
and done in secret clues the father of darkness into our weaknesses and opens
the door for him to assault us with targeted schemes."
"Satan wants us to sneak things in secret. Things hidden
and done in secret clues the father of darkness into our weaknesses and opens
the door for him to assault us with targeted schemes."
When I realized who I was really fighting, my eyes were open to the truth. God wants us to eat and enjoy food. God wants us to relax. God only wants the best for us. The devil will always want to trap you and enslave you to dependence on anything other than God. After all, if you aren't depending on God, then who are you depending on? Yourself? I know that I will let myself down time and time again if I have to depend on myself to get me through this journey. I am learning to depend on God in this journey and the other journeys I'm sure He will lead me to. Believing in God and living Biblically doesn't mean your life will never have trials. You will. When you choose to believe in Jesus, to really turn your life from one direction and into His direction, your eyes will be open to so much truth. It is a lifelong journey. It is one I continue to learn to do DAILY.
Turn your life around today and seek Him!
Saturday, May 14, 2011
ACCOUNTABILITY
In the Bible study I've been doing, the writer expressed the need for an accountability partner. This person not only needs to be there for your weight loss efforts but for your spiritual needs too. I was burdened that I really needed someone because the only time I get to sit with my peers and discuss the Bible is in Sunday School. I needed someone outside of that to lean on, get feedback from and to vent to. I prayed about it and He put a person on my heart. I reached out and asked this person and it turns out that she needed one too! Why am I surprised when God does these things?
Having an accountability partner is one of the best things you can do for any weight loss program you are on (or just for maintaining what you've lost). It's also a sign of vulnerability. You have to be brutally honest with this person and with yourself. You can't hide your secrets (like that pesky Easter chocolate I keep sneaking). In turn, for you to be someone A.P. you have to be honest with them. You have to tell them "well, I think you shouldn't eat the fries with lunch" when you know they won't like hearing that.
My A.P. told me that I should work out more than 3 times a week. I did NOT want to hear this. I was thinking I was doing OK but she really showed me that I DO need to work out more. At first I got kind of depressed about this, but then I realized by her being honest with me, it will give her and I an opportunity to find an answer to me working out more. Since I have this lovely foot problem, running or walking fast is out of the question. I don't own equipment at home (I don't have the room to) and when I do DVD's, I get bored. Anyway, with her help we'll figure this out. It's an awesome feeling knowing that someone is HELPING me through this.
If you are trying to do this journey of weight loss/better health/exercise alone, I encourage you to:
In the Bible study I've been doing, the writer expressed the need for an accountability partner. This person not only needs to be there for your weight loss efforts but for your spiritual needs too. I was burdened that I really needed someone because the only time I get to sit with my peers and discuss the Bible is in Sunday School. I needed someone outside of that to lean on, get feedback from and to vent to. I prayed about it and He put a person on my heart. I reached out and asked this person and it turns out that she needed one too! Why am I surprised when God does these things?
Having an accountability partner is one of the best things you can do for any weight loss program you are on (or just for maintaining what you've lost). It's also a sign of vulnerability. You have to be brutally honest with this person and with yourself. You can't hide your secrets (like that pesky Easter chocolate I keep sneaking). In turn, for you to be someone A.P. you have to be honest with them. You have to tell them "well, I think you shouldn't eat the fries with lunch" when you know they won't like hearing that.
My A.P. told me that I should work out more than 3 times a week. I did NOT want to hear this. I was thinking I was doing OK but she really showed me that I DO need to work out more. At first I got kind of depressed about this, but then I realized by her being honest with me, it will give her and I an opportunity to find an answer to me working out more. Since I have this lovely foot problem, running or walking fast is out of the question. I don't own equipment at home (I don't have the room to) and when I do DVD's, I get bored. Anyway, with her help we'll figure this out. It's an awesome feeling knowing that someone is HELPING me through this.
If you are trying to do this journey of weight loss/better health/exercise alone, I encourage you to:
- Ask God to guide you through your journey. Turn to Him and NOT food!
- Ask God to lay someone on your heart to be an A.P. for you. He knows who that person should be before you do.
This blog is a kind of accountability for me so here's my honesty. I've gained 5 lbs and I can't get it off (not to mention the other 50 lbs I need to lose). It frustrating to have lost down to 190 then I'm back up to 195 in a blink. Every pound lost for me is a struggle and it is hard fought. I applaud all of you out there that can lose 25 in 2-3 months. I wish my body would but God has given me this struggle and I delight in it. For "when I am weak, He is strong".
Monday, April 25, 2011
NO guilt weekend = surprised Sarah
Yesterday was Easter. Everyone knows what holidays mean...lots of GOOD food :) Well, John and I had 2 family get-togethers, one on Saturday and yesterday. I had double the amount of deliciousness.
I look forward to holidays. It's usually my "free" day to eat what I want and how much I want. However, in the past, it's been a load of guilt the next day for what I ate. Then it was the mentality of "I've got to work out every day to pay for the cheesecake I ate." This weekend was different though. I ate what I wanted but in smaller pieces. I stopped eating when I was almost full. I drank water. I felt in control. Usually when I have my "free" days, I feel out of control, like it's the last bite of (fill in the blank) that I'll ever have. Saturday and Sunday, however, felt controlled and, I'm not gonna lie to you, it was weird.
Then this morning I woke up and felt NO guilt for what I ate. This is a new experience for me. What a blessing God gave me through this. I felt in control and no guilt! How can you explain it other than God's hand was on me, guiding me all weekend. Without Him, I have no willpower but with God on my side, I feel empowered to make the right decisions. It's not about choosing the right foods, even though that's part of it. This is about control. It's about feeling good about choosing the right food and not feeling deprived. It's about being under God's control in all aspects of your life because you will turn to food when your life is out of control. I'm evidence of that!
Are you under control?
Yesterday was Easter. Everyone knows what holidays mean...lots of GOOD food :) Well, John and I had 2 family get-togethers, one on Saturday and yesterday. I had double the amount of deliciousness.
I look forward to holidays. It's usually my "free" day to eat what I want and how much I want. However, in the past, it's been a load of guilt the next day for what I ate. Then it was the mentality of "I've got to work out every day to pay for the cheesecake I ate." This weekend was different though. I ate what I wanted but in smaller pieces. I stopped eating when I was almost full. I drank water. I felt in control. Usually when I have my "free" days, I feel out of control, like it's the last bite of (fill in the blank) that I'll ever have. Saturday and Sunday, however, felt controlled and, I'm not gonna lie to you, it was weird.
Then this morning I woke up and felt NO guilt for what I ate. This is a new experience for me. What a blessing God gave me through this. I felt in control and no guilt! How can you explain it other than God's hand was on me, guiding me all weekend. Without Him, I have no willpower but with God on my side, I feel empowered to make the right decisions. It's not about choosing the right foods, even though that's part of it. This is about control. It's about feeling good about choosing the right food and not feeling deprived. It's about being under God's control in all aspects of your life because you will turn to food when your life is out of control. I'm evidence of that!
Are you under control?
Friday, April 22, 2011
GREAT, HEALTHY RECIPE!!!!
Last night, we had breakfast for dinner. I didn't want to use my standard for pancakes-Bisquick-because I wanted a healthier version. I always have whole wheat flour (I highly recommend you do too if you cook a lot like me) so I googled "Whole wheat pancakes" and got a recipe from cooks.com. It was delicious!!! Even my picky-eating children loved them. And, as far as I can tell, the pancakes are very healthy.
Here's the recipe:
2 cups whole wheat flour
3 Tbsp sugar/splenda mix
1 tsp salt
2 cups milk (I used 1% but you could use skim)
4 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp vanilla
2 eggs
4 Tbsp unsweetened applesauce
Preheat griddle to medium heat, spray with Pam (if you need to). Use 1/3 cup measuring cup to dispense evenly (I just used my mixing spoon). Cook until bubbles appear on top, flip.
You could add any kind of fruit, like blueberries to it. I used Log Cabin Lite syrup instead of usual, full sugar syrup.
I think the one of the keys to losing weight and keeping it off is finding healthier alternatives to your favorite foods. Pancakes are one of my favorite things to eat and while Bisquick isn't bad for you, it is a lot of empty carbs. At least with this recipe I feel like I'm eating something good for me.
Last night, we had breakfast for dinner. I didn't want to use my standard for pancakes-Bisquick-because I wanted a healthier version. I always have whole wheat flour (I highly recommend you do too if you cook a lot like me) so I googled "Whole wheat pancakes" and got a recipe from cooks.com. It was delicious!!! Even my picky-eating children loved them. And, as far as I can tell, the pancakes are very healthy.
Here's the recipe:
2 cups whole wheat flour
3 Tbsp sugar/splenda mix
1 tsp salt
2 cups milk (I used 1% but you could use skim)
4 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp vanilla
2 eggs
4 Tbsp unsweetened applesauce
Preheat griddle to medium heat, spray with Pam (if you need to). Use 1/3 cup measuring cup to dispense evenly (I just used my mixing spoon). Cook until bubbles appear on top, flip.
You could add any kind of fruit, like blueberries to it. I used Log Cabin Lite syrup instead of usual, full sugar syrup.
I think the one of the keys to losing weight and keeping it off is finding healthier alternatives to your favorite foods. Pancakes are one of my favorite things to eat and while Bisquick isn't bad for you, it is a lot of empty carbs. At least with this recipe I feel like I'm eating something good for me.
Friday, April 15, 2011
HOW TO CHANGE THE SHAPE OF YOUR BODY
As I was in my weight class today, it occured to me that one of the things I forgot to list in the 3 month challenge was weight training. Since I've been doing the weight class, my body has changed shape. Well, I still have the usual area of problems, but I can actually feel my thigh, arm and butt muscles! What an awesome feeling :) After you get started moving, you need to add in some weights. You can either join a class at your local gym, buy weights to use at home or use your own body weight. Start small and move up as you get stronger. There are tons of exercises online and in magazines to do.
BELIEVE me when I say...You will change the shape of your body :)
Thursday, April 14, 2011
MADE TO CRAVE
Last night I started a new Bible study at our church called "Made to Crave". It's a study by Lysa Terkeurst. I'm very excited to be starting it after watching the first little video snippet last night. Every week she will give us a word, which I will then give to ya'll. This week's word is EMPOWERED. The main thing I got from her last night was that we shouldn't feel deprived when we make healthy choices. We should feel EMPOWERED. Wow.
Let's feel EMPOWERED today!!!!
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
THE 3 MONTH CHALLENGE
Time for a change. I've had 3.5 months of yo-yo-ing of 5 lbs and I'm sick of it. I'm gonna throw out a 3 month challenge to anyone interested. Why 3 months? As most of you know, my stupid foot (plantar faciaitis) makes me unable to run anymore and this means I can no longer have a 5k, 10k or any other k to motivate me. I needed something as a goal, like a 10k would be, so my motivation is my beach trip is in 3 months. This gives me a good goal to strive for. 3 months is not a long time, but hopefully it will be long enough to achieve my goal to lose 10 lbs.
Therefore, I'm inviting all of you to join me. Find a goal to strive for in 3 months. Maybe you are going to the beach too or maybe you are doing the Peachtree. Or maybe you need to set a goal, like a massage. Whatever motivates you! Another motivation for me is that John and I are letting God take over in the baby department. If we have another baby, I need to lose MORE weight and get healthier. In the next three months, I hope to do more pilates, yoga and cardio in the next three months too.
I had a friend's grandmother (who hasn't seen me since I lost these last 30 lbs) ask me what my secret was for losing weight. I really didn't know what to tell her, because I don't think what I'm doing is a secret so I really had to think about it. One thing I've learned is that even though it's coming off at a snail's pace, it's allowing my body to adjust to the loss. I think that when you lose weight fast, your body (and mind) can't adjust to the change and you are more likely to go back to where you started. I firmly believe that you must lose weight in YOUR OWN TIME. YOU have to be ready to own up to YOUR eating habits and be ready to change FOREVER the way you look at food. If you join a weight loss program, you have to tell yourself "These people are helping me but it's MY responsibility to lose the weight and change myself." I know that, in the past, when I've joined them I thought "They are gonna change me." That's the wrong mentality. Now I know that I wasn't ready to accept that I will never eat what I want, when I want and as much as I want. I wasn't ready to accept that exercising 3 or more times a week had to be a RITUAL in my life. No weight loss program will work until you are ready to accept these realities for yourself. So here are some tips if you need help starting:
- STOP, STOP, STOP buying anything that will make you stumble. That means chips, candy, cakes, whatever. Your family will be better off for it anyways!
- Switch to Truvia, Splenda for sweetener in drinks. Limit anything that is sweetened (even artificially). I've read a lot of magazines that say that if you struggle with sugar, it's not a good idea to have a lot of things with sweeteners. It tricks your body into thinking you are eating sugar and you will crave it even more. Of course, this is my opinion but I have such a bad addiction to sugar that I'm trying to limit it as much as I can.
- DRINK WATER!!!
- Try to find ways to take calories and fats out of recipes. Switch to low-fat versions of mayo, sour cream, etc. I NEVER use fat free stuff...I'm sorry but a little fat helps the taste.
- EXERCISE! Start by walking 10 min. a day. Or join a gym and GO. I love the weight classes and spinning classes at my gym. I also love the elliptical. I've started doing the stair machine and rowing machine as well. Weight loss will happen without exercise but it will be more beneficial for you if you exercise too.
- Don't stress about what you are losing. The way I keep positive is knowing that I'm doing all I can to lose weight.
- Take it to God DAILY! Ask Him to help you make the right decisions and give you energy when you exercise (it works!).
Hope this helps all of you who are joining this 3 month challenge with me!
Just think "Better today than yesterday, Better tomorrow than today"...(quote from Vonnie Baucham).
Monday, March 14, 2011
I need to blog more, I need to blog more, I need to blog more...
I've not blogged in awhile and I guess it's due to a funk I've been in since, well, Christmas. I've not lost a lot of weight until recently when I finally lost 5 lbs. I'm pretty sure that the scale at the gym is broken so I'm not really sure if it's 5 lbs. I mean...a loss on the scale? It must be broken...ha.
A friend of mine challenged me to give up something for Lent. What is the one thing I eat or drink that would be a sacrifice for me? Duh...sweet tea. I have it at least once a day and even though my tea isn't super sweet, I enjoy every drop! I love the taste of tea so this is a sacrifice for me. Of course, it means I'm drinking more water which is much better for me but I'm missing my tea.
I posted a video from YouTube of my "theme" song for my weight loss. I almost cry every time I hear it b/c I am so guilty of listening to the devil about eating and I miss out on God's truth. I think food is the enemy (and in some forms, it is) but it's not. What is the true enemy? What makes me eat and eat and eat?? Well, number one...I love food. I don't think I use food to fill in a void in my life. I have Jesus in my heart and life so there isn't a void. I think my struggle with food is to STOP eating, even though it tastes so good. It's teaching myself to enjoy healthy foods to the extent that I enjoy "bad" food. I have to SILENCE that evil voice inside of me, that's saying "it's only one bite" or "you haven't had this in a long time, so it's ok" or "you deserve this". The "you deserve this" is the loudest voice in my head. As moms and wives, we do so much for our families and I often fall into the trap of "I deserve this piece of pie because I ...". The TRUTH is that I cannot reward myself with food. That is the devil's snare. Food is not a reward. It is only fuel for your body. Rewards should be a pedicure or massage.
Easier said than done.
By the way, another "theme" song is really what the healthier, thinner me inside is saying. It's "I'm coming out" by Diana Ross.
I've not blogged in awhile and I guess it's due to a funk I've been in since, well, Christmas. I've not lost a lot of weight until recently when I finally lost 5 lbs. I'm pretty sure that the scale at the gym is broken so I'm not really sure if it's 5 lbs. I mean...a loss on the scale? It must be broken...ha.
A friend of mine challenged me to give up something for Lent. What is the one thing I eat or drink that would be a sacrifice for me? Duh...sweet tea. I have it at least once a day and even though my tea isn't super sweet, I enjoy every drop! I love the taste of tea so this is a sacrifice for me. Of course, it means I'm drinking more water which is much better for me but I'm missing my tea.
I posted a video from YouTube of my "theme" song for my weight loss. I almost cry every time I hear it b/c I am so guilty of listening to the devil about eating and I miss out on God's truth. I think food is the enemy (and in some forms, it is) but it's not. What is the true enemy? What makes me eat and eat and eat?? Well, number one...I love food. I don't think I use food to fill in a void in my life. I have Jesus in my heart and life so there isn't a void. I think my struggle with food is to STOP eating, even though it tastes so good. It's teaching myself to enjoy healthy foods to the extent that I enjoy "bad" food. I have to SILENCE that evil voice inside of me, that's saying "it's only one bite" or "you haven't had this in a long time, so it's ok" or "you deserve this". The "you deserve this" is the loudest voice in my head. As moms and wives, we do so much for our families and I often fall into the trap of "I deserve this piece of pie because I ...". The TRUTH is that I cannot reward myself with food. That is the devil's snare. Food is not a reward. It is only fuel for your body. Rewards should be a pedicure or massage.
Easier said than done.
By the way, another "theme" song is really what the healthier, thinner me inside is saying. It's "I'm coming out" by Diana Ross.
Friday, January 21, 2011
Confession...
Oh...the scale. How I hate it. I loathe it. BUT it was an evil I had to face. After Christmas holidays and then a week of semi-confinement inside our house for the snow, I knew the scale was gonna be mean to me. And it was...five pounds gained (insert crying, wailing and tearing of clothes now). How could that happen?
Well, first-eating too much sweets (my downfall always). Second, not enough exercise. Third, not enough discipline with food in general. All this combined = 5 lbs gained in 2-3 weeks. It is THE MOST frustrating thing ever. And it should show all of you that I can't let up even a smidge in the journey. The devil takes my slack and pulls me closer to him. And what's so frustrating is that I let him. I know I shouldn't, but I do. Gosh, it is so much easier to eat what I want or to eat what's easy (such as pizza and Chinese). It's so much easier to sit on the couch then get up and MOVE.
I confess this all to you so that any of you reading this (who are on this journey with me) will know that I struggle every day and I hate it. It's not fair that while others can eat anything they want and not gain an ounce, I have to work my booty off exercising AND I have to eat right too. It's not fair that this will be the way I have to be FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. Sometimes I have a hissy fit about it,which leads to eating something bad. Then after the guilt sets in, I realize that God was there all along and that He gave me a way out in every instance. He helps me to see that while losing weight and getting healthy is VERY important, it's even more important to live for Him in all things I do. I forget that God should be my comfort food. I forget that I should listen to His voice when I feel like life isn't fair.
OK...5 lbs gained. Start here and move on. God is with me and I will not fail (chanting to myself). If you are struggling, say it with me - GOD IS WITH ME AND I WILL NOT FAIL.
OK...back to my salad...
Oh...the scale. How I hate it. I loathe it. BUT it was an evil I had to face. After Christmas holidays and then a week of semi-confinement inside our house for the snow, I knew the scale was gonna be mean to me. And it was...five pounds gained (insert crying, wailing and tearing of clothes now). How could that happen?
Well, first-eating too much sweets (my downfall always). Second, not enough exercise. Third, not enough discipline with food in general. All this combined = 5 lbs gained in 2-3 weeks. It is THE MOST frustrating thing ever. And it should show all of you that I can't let up even a smidge in the journey. The devil takes my slack and pulls me closer to him. And what's so frustrating is that I let him. I know I shouldn't, but I do. Gosh, it is so much easier to eat what I want or to eat what's easy (such as pizza and Chinese). It's so much easier to sit on the couch then get up and MOVE.
I confess this all to you so that any of you reading this (who are on this journey with me) will know that I struggle every day and I hate it. It's not fair that while others can eat anything they want and not gain an ounce, I have to work my booty off exercising AND I have to eat right too. It's not fair that this will be the way I have to be FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. Sometimes I have a hissy fit about it,which leads to eating something bad. Then after the guilt sets in, I realize that God was there all along and that He gave me a way out in every instance. He helps me to see that while losing weight and getting healthy is VERY important, it's even more important to live for Him in all things I do. I forget that God should be my comfort food. I forget that I should listen to His voice when I feel like life isn't fair.
OK...5 lbs gained. Start here and move on. God is with me and I will not fail (chanting to myself). If you are struggling, say it with me - GOD IS WITH ME AND I WILL NOT FAIL.
OK...back to my salad...
Wednesday, January 05, 2011
A NEW YEAR
If you are even 10 lbs overweight, I'm sure you made the age old resolution to lose weight. I've been making this resolution since I was 13 so it's not new to me. That last sentence is enough evidence to support that resolutions are worth nothing. I look at "New Year's Resolutions" kind of like I look at the top 25 rankings of college football before the season starts. Until the season starts and we see the teams play, we don't know who will be ranked what. Resolutions are like that. It's only until you follow through on your resolution that it means something to you and to everyone looking at you.
For me, January 1st was the date of the new decade. I thought about 10 years ago. I was engaged and was probably the same size I am now. I wore a size 18 wedding dress (that was depressing at the time). I was aware that I needed to lose weight but I was in full wedding mode and so happy to be getting married. The devil was distracting me with worldly things. I had a great job and no worries. Flash forward to January 1st, 2011. After many years of letting the devil win and yo-yo dieting, I finally have a grasp on this losing weight thing. I know now that your mind, heart and soul have to be in this for the long haul. It's not a "I'll lose the weight then sit back and relax" mentality. I will never be able to do that. It will always be struggle. That's so hard to swallow but that's what I've had to face. Of course, God has shown me that He is what I need. He has shown me how the devil uses food and laziness to sabotage my efforts.
I worked out the Tuesday before Christmas then was a total slug until last Monday. I ate mostly what I wanted, when I wanted it. Oh, it was so good going down but then I usually felt sick afterward. Since I've been eating a lot of low fat, low sugar stuff for so long, all that heavy, rich food hurt me. I realized how we get used to eating the bad stuff and (I think) the devil uses it to numb us to what is GOOD for us. This includes exercise too. Yesterday and today, I am SO sore from my workout on Monday. It's not fun to be sore. I would rather not be sore but for me, it's worth it. However, the devil will use that and tell me "if you just laid around, you wouldn't get sore. it's so much easier to stay home then to drive to a gym". He also wants me to ignore my time with God and getting in the Bible. These are all trick the devil tells us when he wants us to pull away from God. Just another way the devil wants what is BAD for us, and that includes food and exercise.
So I guess my resolution is to keep on keeping on. God is here with me and I will not fail.
If you are even 10 lbs overweight, I'm sure you made the age old resolution to lose weight. I've been making this resolution since I was 13 so it's not new to me. That last sentence is enough evidence to support that resolutions are worth nothing. I look at "New Year's Resolutions" kind of like I look at the top 25 rankings of college football before the season starts. Until the season starts and we see the teams play, we don't know who will be ranked what. Resolutions are like that. It's only until you follow through on your resolution that it means something to you and to everyone looking at you.
For me, January 1st was the date of the new decade. I thought about 10 years ago. I was engaged and was probably the same size I am now. I wore a size 18 wedding dress (that was depressing at the time). I was aware that I needed to lose weight but I was in full wedding mode and so happy to be getting married. The devil was distracting me with worldly things. I had a great job and no worries. Flash forward to January 1st, 2011. After many years of letting the devil win and yo-yo dieting, I finally have a grasp on this losing weight thing. I know now that your mind, heart and soul have to be in this for the long haul. It's not a "I'll lose the weight then sit back and relax" mentality. I will never be able to do that. It will always be struggle. That's so hard to swallow but that's what I've had to face. Of course, God has shown me that He is what I need. He has shown me how the devil uses food and laziness to sabotage my efforts.
I worked out the Tuesday before Christmas then was a total slug until last Monday. I ate mostly what I wanted, when I wanted it. Oh, it was so good going down but then I usually felt sick afterward. Since I've been eating a lot of low fat, low sugar stuff for so long, all that heavy, rich food hurt me. I realized how we get used to eating the bad stuff and (I think) the devil uses it to numb us to what is GOOD for us. This includes exercise too. Yesterday and today, I am SO sore from my workout on Monday. It's not fun to be sore. I would rather not be sore but for me, it's worth it. However, the devil will use that and tell me "if you just laid around, you wouldn't get sore. it's so much easier to stay home then to drive to a gym". He also wants me to ignore my time with God and getting in the Bible. These are all trick the devil tells us when he wants us to pull away from God. Just another way the devil wants what is BAD for us, and that includes food and exercise.
So I guess my resolution is to keep on keeping on. God is here with me and I will not fail.
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